Wednesday, May 4, 2011

My Avenchur

So, ME has been wheezy and sick and coffing and stuff lately.  The mom lady person was werking at home and said "Me is going to take YOU to the v-e-t tonite".  ME saided Mom Lady Person ME does not want to go. But she grabbed me and threw me in a sack and kidnapped me (uh, Billy darling, tell them what REALLY happened).  Oh, ok - she opened the door and ME ranned out to the driveway and THEN she throwed me in a sack and kidnapped me.  (SIGH.  I picked you up and put a blanket over your head because it was RAINING and COLD).  Uh................ oh yeah.  That's it. 

Then ME gotted in the metal machine and drived us to the v-e-t.  ME is a very good driver.  (Billy SweetFeets Norton Gingersnap, tell the truth). Ok the mom lady person putted me in mine PTU and SHE drived me to the v-e-t. Then she gotted me out of mine PTU and bringed me into the v-e-t office.  We sitted down and there was LOTS of peoples there and some WOOFIES and ME hadded to go meet them - so ME scratched the mom and gotted down and ranned up to the woofies.  ME saided HI and they was all very nice to me.  The v-e-t ladies was laffin and laffin and one of the woofies furriends said to the mom lady person that he has nefur seen his woofie like a kitty 'afore!  ME was proud.

Then we wented into the pokey room and the mom lady person putted me on the table and ME jumped down and RANNED out the door and down the hall.  One of the v-e-t ladies catched me and bringed me back, but she was laffing and laffing. 

THEN the pokey v-e-t lady camed in and poked me.  She looked in mine bad eye and ME did not like that at all.  Then she looked in mine mouf and ME did not like that eifur.  THEN she putted something in mine ear wif a light on it and ME did not like that eifur.  She saided somefing about looking for pollywogs in mine ears but she didn't find any (um, polyps Billy?).  Oh, maybe that was it.  HEY, who's telling this story mom lady person?  Ok, so then she gotted this glass slide thing and PLUGGED UP MINE NOSE until  ME turned blue and passed out.  (really?).  oh,  ok, she putted it up to mine one side of mine nose and plugged the other and looked to see if ME was breathing.  Turns out that ME was NOT breathing on mine right side!! (which is also the same side as mine bad eye). 

So, then she and the mom lady person talked about lots of stuffs.  I could haf pollywogs in mine NOSE.  They would haf to try and find a small teeny tube and stick it all the way up mine nose.  OR they could do a MRI to see if ME has pollywogs or cancer or somefing.   But to do that they would needs to steal mine pee and bloods, take nekkid pikshurs of mine lungs and THEN make me sleepy and take other nekkid pikshurs of mine head. 

For now until the mom lady person 'acides if she wants to make me do all that, the v-e-t putted me on aunti's biotiks to see if that makes me breathe better.  If not, then we will haf to find the green papers to get mine insides looked at. 

ME hadded lots of FUN at the v-e-t.  When they camed in the room to get the green papers 3 of the v-e-t ladies camed in and played wif me - they petted mine belly when I wiggled all ofur the floor, they picked me up and played kissy-face wif me. 

That was mine avenchur. It was great 'cept the part about hafing to haf more stuffs done to me. 

(uh, Billy there was one more thing on your report card from the v-e-t that you should talk about).

oh, does ME has to Mom Lady Person?

(you should)

ME has to lose 3 pounds.  ME weights 15 pounds and 12 1/2 ounces and the v-e-t says ME is,, uh......... tubby.  (HEY BILLY!! YOU'RE FAT!!! - MILES). 

'skuse me, ME has to go sit on mine brofur....................

34 comments:

barb @iPhoneographi said...

Oh, Billy, that sounds like mostly a fun adventure! Well... except for the icky parts. We hope the Auntie Biotics work, honey pie.

Mom Barb and the GW gang.

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Billy that was some adventure. I hope it is just something that antibiotics can help

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Wow Billy, yoo is almost as fat as Speedy! Sure hope it is just a cold or something like dat. Da other stuff all sounds kinda icky and not good and stuff.

The Island Cats said...

Billy, you have waaaaay more fun at the v-e-t than we ever do!! We hope the medicines help you so you don't hafta have that other stuff done.

The Crew said...

15 lb? You is gettin' to be a big guy, Billy!

Angel Sweet Praline said...

Oh Billy - thank you for the laugh today. I really needed that. I'm not laughing because you aren't feeling good, but your adventures at the vet were so funny. I'm sure Sweet Praline is smiling down on you, saying, "way to go, Billy."

Mom Paula

Angel and Kirby said...

That is a great adventure! We hopes you do not have pollywogs in your head!

Furkidsmom said...

Billy you really know how to have an adventure. We hope Aunti Biotiks helps you and you don't need more tests.

Did you know that Sniffie had a bad eye too? She got drops every day in that eye.

The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie

FrecklesandDeb said...

That was quite an adventure, Billy! I'll be crossing my fingers and toes that you don't have to have all that stuff done and that the antibiotics work!
Love,
Deb

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan and Bibi-Chan said...

Wow, Billy! That was a major adventure! We are crossing our paws that the antibiotics make you breathe better and you won't need to have naked pictures taken.

Purrs,
The Chans

chezcat1970 said...

Oh no, Billy, we don't want you to have pollywogs in your head! maybe Aunti biotics will chase them out!

Random Felines said...

What an adventure....mom says that you behave MUCH better than we do. We hope the aunti biotiks work and they don't have to poke stuff in your head.

Hannah and Lucy said...

We hope the aunti biotics work and make you all better Billy.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Ariel said...

"Wow" Billy that was some adventure.I hope the aunti's biotiks work so you get better...Hugs

Daisy said...

What a crazy adventure you had, Billy! You make everything sound like so much fun. I hope you can breathe from both nostrils soon.

Meowers from Missouri said...

dang; you haff ALL the fun, billy!

seriously, we hopes auntie's biotiks fixes you right up an' you doesn't hafta go through all that undignified bother. maybe yer momladyperson will just take you back to the v-e-t fur some pets an' tummy rubs from the ladybeans?

Jan's Funny Farm said...

That was quite an adventure, Billy. We like it better the way you tell it, though. We hope you don't need any more poking or tests.

Athena said...

Wow, what an adventure! I sure hope you don't have pollywogs in your head and that the auntie biotics take care of everything for you.

Junior and Orion said...

Billy-we will be purring for those aunty-biotics to work for you. We don't want you to have pollywogs or polyps, and we don't want you to have to have a little tube run up your nose. The nekkid pictures of you aren't so rough to get thru, but we sure don't want you to have that nasty c-word. Yep, we will be purring and purring for you!

ABBY said...

OH Billy you had quite the adventure at the VET....we hope that antibyotics help!

>^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^<
Abby Ping Jinx Boo Gracie
purrin
xoxox
~ManxMnews

Shaggy, Scooby and Scout said...

What an adventure you had, from the sack to the woofies to the pollywogs and the fun ladies at the end!
But we hope those aunti bioticks help and you can breathe again soon.

Galletta said...

Me enjoys yur avenchur. Me wants to drive a medal ma-sheen! We hope auntie's biotiks were. Me don't pollywogs.

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Oh the drama ;-)

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: I feel badly fur the woofie that must think all khats are weird like woo!

Derby, Ducky said...

Goodness Billy, first you weight as much as Derby now! Plus pollywogs? I hope your mum gets enough green papers to get rid of them for you.

AttieCattie said...

Billy, sheesh! what a day! stills, we will not calls you fats. you is... substanshul.

meowmeowmans said...

That is some adventure you had, Billy. We hope those antibiotics do the trick and that you're back dancing up a storm real soon.

Amy and The House of Cats said...

Oh Billy we are sorry you are sick and had to go to the vets, but we are glad they didn't poke you too much and that you had fun there!

And don't feel bad about having to loose weight - Lola had to loose some too (and we bet some day the rest of us will need to also). So you aren't alone, that is for sure!

Nikita Cat said...

What an adventure!

Hope you feel better soon!

HotMBC aka The Hotties said...

Oh I hopes yoo doesn't hafta go to get more pikshurs of yore insides. We will purr lots fur yoo, Billy my almost brofur in law.
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
Sanjee and tha resta tha Hotties

Tillie and Georgia said...

Billy, we will purr very hard that those Aunty Biotics help you breathe!!!!!!!
That was quite an adventure you had !!

Purrs Tillie and Georgia

Camie's Kitties said...

Billy - what an adventure - are you feeling any better?

Cody and Gracie

Samantha, Clementine and Maverick said...

Oh my goodness!! We are purring and praying that the pollywogs are not there and that the anti biotics help you breath!!
((((HUGGGSSSS)))))) from your TX furiends,

ML said...

O, Billy, it sounds like you haf tha same fing as my beautiful sisfur, KC.
Remember when she scared us so bad and that mean vet wanted to put a hook up her nosie and pull fings out???? And Mom ML rushed her to the good vet, Dr. Smith? And she put hers on a long round of Aunti Biotic and some specshul nose drops?
Iffen you needs more treatments, we'll just haf to run a nice aukshun fur you, that's what we will do. Hopefully this will help. Can I come over and snuggle wif you???? I fink snuggling is an impawatant part of getting well, don't you? :: blush blush blush ::
~Faith Boomerang

TK and Squashies said...

Oh Faith, you are so very dear to helps sweet Billy!
We sure hopes you feels better real soon Billy.
My mommy laff n laff at this post- you sure does know how to tell a story!