So, ME has been wheezy and sick and coffing and stuff lately. The mom lady person was werking at home and said "Me is going to take YOU to the v-e-t tonite". ME saided Mom Lady Person ME does not want to go. But she grabbed me and threw me in a sack and kidnapped me (uh, Billy darling, tell them what REALLY happened). Oh, ok - she opened the door and ME ranned out to the driveway and THEN she throwed me in a sack and kidnapped me. (SIGH. I picked you up and put a blanket over your head because it was RAINING and COLD). Uh................ oh yeah. That's it.
Then ME gotted in the metal machine and drived us to the v-e-t. ME is a very good driver. (Billy SweetFeets Norton Gingersnap, tell the truth). Ok the mom lady person putted me in mine PTU and SHE drived me to the v-e-t. Then she gotted me out of mine PTU and bringed me into the v-e-t office. We sitted down and there was LOTS of peoples there and some WOOFIES and ME hadded to go meet them - so ME scratched the mom and gotted down and ranned up to the woofies. ME saided HI and they was all very nice to me. The v-e-t ladies was laffin and laffin and one of the woofies furriends said to the mom lady person that he has nefur seen his woofie like a kitty 'afore! ME was proud.
Then we wented into the pokey room and the mom lady person putted me on the table and ME jumped down and RANNED out the door and down the hall. One of the v-e-t ladies catched me and bringed me back, but she was laffing and laffing.
THEN the pokey v-e-t lady camed in and poked me. She looked in mine bad eye and ME did not like that at all. Then she looked in mine mouf and ME did not like that eifur. THEN she putted something in mine ear wif a light on it and ME did not like that eifur. She saided somefing about looking for pollywogs in mine ears but she didn't find any (um, polyps Billy?). Oh, maybe that was it. HEY, who's telling this story mom lady person? Ok, so then she gotted this glass slide thing and PLUGGED UP MINE NOSE until ME turned blue and passed out. (really?). oh, ok, she putted it up to mine one side of mine nose and plugged the other and looked to see if ME was breathing. Turns out that ME was NOT breathing on mine right side!! (which is also the same side as mine bad eye).
So, then she and the mom lady person talked about lots of stuffs. I could haf pollywogs in mine NOSE. They would haf to try and find a small teeny tube and stick it all the way up mine nose. OR they could do a MRI to see if ME has pollywogs or cancer or somefing. But to do that they would needs to steal mine pee and bloods, take nekkid pikshurs of mine lungs and THEN make me sleepy and take other nekkid pikshurs of mine head.
For now until the mom lady person 'acides if she wants to make me do all that, the v-e-t putted me on aunti's biotiks to see if that makes me breathe better. If not, then we will haf to find the green papers to get mine insides looked at.
ME hadded lots of FUN at the v-e-t. When they camed in the room to get the green papers 3 of the v-e-t ladies camed in and played wif me - they petted mine belly when I wiggled all ofur the floor, they picked me up and played kissy-face wif me.
That was mine avenchur. It was great 'cept the part about hafing to haf more stuffs done to me.
(uh, Billy there was one more thing on your report card from the v-e-t that you should talk about).
oh, does ME has to Mom Lady Person?
ME has to lose 3 pounds. ME weights 15 pounds and 12 1/2 ounces and the v-e-t says ME is,, uh......... tubby. (HEY BILLY!! YOU'RE FAT!!! - MILES).
'skuse me, ME has to go sit on mine brofur....................